This is a forum for husbands who have had to undergo the hurt and harm caused by an out-of-control wife, a wife who has subscribed to the "Hotwife" life style, a wife who has engaged in extra-marital infidelities, or has engaged in conduct that has caused, either deliberately or not, hurt and thus harm to the marriage.
Marriage isn't just a couple standing up in front of a J.P., Minister, whatever and making idle promises to "Have, hold, sickness, health, yaddy yaddy yadda"... it is a real intention on the part of both the couple, and their families and friends to commit to a style of life of fidelity, and love and absolute co-complicity in their lives together.
My ex was a "hotwife". She decided, all by herself, to undertake the step of "stepping out" on our marriage. She was driven by a combination of things to do this terrible thing. One of those things, and I believe it to be true of many such people, was a type of mental disorder called Bi-Polar Manic Depressive Syndrome.
It is usually characterized by incredible highs and subsequent lows. And during those "highs", many women will look for what they manically perceive as "real affection" from (usually) attractive men (at least to them, while in that "high"), and then the damage is done. In many cases, the woman is uncaring as to whether or not she has been seen or discovered, and she won't appear to be unhappy about whatever she has done.
But during the "downcycle", she may become contrite, and even a little affectionate toward her spouse, but her "affections" have been given over away from her spouse, somewhere else. And not necessarily to someone, just somewhere else. The where is always the why.
And that is the determining factor in what becomes a terrible odyssey, for many, as to whether or not they have any marriage left to salvage, or even if they want to. Mine wasn't worth saving. I had to deal with several pregnancies that I had nothing to do with, and even with the births of children not mine, biologically.
It has been an odyssey for me; an odyssey of pain, humiliation and literal warfare between me and "Her". And also, "Her" paramours. I say 'paramours' (the plural) because she went through several men in the past few years. In fact, she now has experienced bearing nine children, and by as many as 6 different men!!
And this is part of the excitement for her. Acting like a pure slut, but living the life of a married woman, and being loved and cherished in that manner. What I want to know now is this:
1) How many men are there in this situation?
2) How many men actually enjoy this life?
3) How many men go along with this because they feel they have no choice?
4) What are the choices some men have made in accepting or in denying this life?
Feel free to say what you want, and to say what you like. The rules here are:
1) No Names of any culprits.
2) No "leading Information". I don't want to see any info that would lead me to know who the culprits are, or might be.
3) This is NOT a "sexual fiction" site. Go elsewhere for that.
Tell us the truth. Get it out! Let the abscess drain and the pus flow; be angry! It'll do you good, and it'll let others know that it's okay to be mad, to express it, and to say what you think, as well as feel.
And learn to draw strength from this, from others. You are not alone.
